The Gift of Emotional Presence: Strengthening Relationships During the Holidays


The holiday season is a time to connect, celebrate, and reflect. Beyond the decorations, gifts, and festive meals, the heart of the season lies in the meaningful connections we share with loved ones. Yet, the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations often pull us away from what matters most: being truly present in the moment.

In Beyond Emotional Intelligence: Never Have Another Bad Day, the concept of emotional presence takes center stage as a powerful tool for strengthening relationships. By practicing active listening, empathy, and self-awareness, we can foster deeper connections and make this holiday season truly special.

1. The Importance of Emotional Presence

Emotional presence is the act of being fully engaged in the moment, both mentally and emotionally. During the holidays, it’s easy to get caught up in to-do lists, shopping, and planning, but emotional presence reminds us to focus on the people we’re with rather than the tasks at hand.

Why It Matters:

  • Strengthens bonds by showing others they are valued and heard.
  • Reduces misunderstandings and fosters empathy in conversations.
  • Helps create lasting memories that are more meaningful than any gift.

When you’re emotionally present, you’re giving your loved ones the most valuable gift of all—your undivided attention and care.

2. Tips for Practicing Emotional Presence During the Holidays

Active Listening: Hear and Understand

Active listening means fully focusing on the person speaking, rather than thinking about how to respond or multitasking.

How to Practice:

  • Make eye contact and set aside distractions like phones or TV.
  • Reflect on what the other person is saying by summarizing or asking clarifying questions.
  • Validate their emotions by acknowledging their feelings without judgment or offering unsolicited advice.

Practice Empathy: Step Into Their Shoes

Empathy allows you to understand and share the feelings of others, which strengthens trust and connection.

How to Practice:

  • Pay attention to nonverbal cues like tone of voice or body language.
  • Imagine how you would feel in their situation, and respond with compassion.
  • Avoid dismissing or minimizing their feelings, even if you don’t agree.

Understand Emotional Needs in Family Dynamics

Family gatherings often bring together a mix of personalities, histories, and emotions. Emotional presence helps you navigate these dynamics with grace.

How to Practice:

  • Be aware of your own emotional state and triggers. Use the “emotional light switch” technique from the book to shift from reactive to responsive modes.
  • Approach family members with curiosity rather than assumptions. Ask questions to understand their perspective.
  • Be patient with difficult interactions, reminding yourself that everyone brings their unique emotional landscape to the table.

3. Emotional-Awareness and the "Emotional Light Switch"

Emotional-awareness is key to being emotionally present. It helps you recognize when stress or distractions are pulling you away from the moment, allowing you to refocus on what matters.

The Emotional Light Switch:

  • Imagine your emotions as a light switch you can control.
  • When you notice yourself becoming reactive or distracted, pause and “flip the switch” to return to a calm, present state.
  • Practice mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or a quick mental check-in to reset your focus.

This technique empowers you to stay present, even in the midst of holiday chaos.

4. The Lasting Impact of Emotional Presence

When you practice emotional presence, you create an environment of trust, empathy, and understanding. The holiday season becomes more than just a series of events—it transforms into a time of genuine connection and joy.

Practical Example:

  • Instead of rushing through a family dinner while thinking about cleaning up, slow down and engage with each person at the table. Ask meaningful questions, share stories, and savor the moment. These are the memories that will last long after the holiday season ends.

Conclusion: Make Emotional Presence Your Greatest Gift

The holidays are a time for connection, and emotional presence is the foundation of meaningful relationships. By practicing active listening, empathy, and self-awareness, you can create deeper bonds and lasting memories with loved ones. This year, let the gift of your presence shine brighter than any holiday lights, reminding those around you of the true spirit of the season.

How do you stay emotionally present during the holidays? Share your tips in the comments, and let’s inspire each other to make this season one of connection and joy.

About the Author

Dr. Drew Gold is an Associate Professor of Management at Saint Leo University and an Adjunct Associate Professor at the University of North Carolina.  His areas of expertise include technology and innovation management, research methods and statistics, strategic management, and personal and professional development.  He has spent over a decade developing his concept of Emotional Dexterity, which is reflected in his forthcoming book “Beyond Emotional Intelligence: Never Have Another Bad Day!” 

Dr. Gold is married and lives with his wife and two crazy cats in Tampa, Florida. He loves to travel and is a master scuba diver trainer and loves college sports, especially his Ohio State Buckeyes!  O-H- 

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